Carl F. Neal
(Science Fiction)
"Equality of Mercy"
Jarvis sat in the corner of the dark storage room with his
huddled family.
Of course, they weren't his real family, but he
thought of them in those terms.
And he was their leader.
At only fourteen, leading this small band of orphans
and survivors was a great strain.
They were all thankful for Jarvis.
For nearly a year he had kept them safe from the
Kaireese warriors that were hunting down every last human on the planet.
Jarvis heard the searching Kaireese coming down the
corridor.
He knew they would search the room and find his little
family.
Moving with the precision that only experience can teach,
he removed the grating over the long unused drainage system and began to push
his family into the pipes.
One by one the children scrambled into the
stale-smelling cylinder while Jarvis crouched near the opening; ready to create
a diversion should it be needed.
For forty years the Kaireese had been seeking out and
killing every human in the galaxy.
Their shining ships first appeared in the domain of
Humans only weeks after the first Human and Kaireese meeting.
They had come to conquer and pleas for mercy were
answered with swift pain and prolonged suffering.
Many worlds once cultivated by man were void of all
vestiges of humans by the time Jarvis was born.
They had landed on his world eight years ago.
Four years ago, Jarvis witnessed the killing of his
parents from the safety of an abandoned drain.
It was the only reason that he had lived.
It was also the reason that he entrusted his new
family to the drain without hesitation.
By the time that the sixth, and final, member of his family
had entered the drain, the warriors began prying on the door.
They had never shown an interest in using keys to
the many locks the human inhabitants had left.
They opened doors by force, as if it were sport to
them.
They often used hand tools to open the doors rather than
one of their powerful machines or weapons.
As they tried to open the door and discover Jarvis'
family escaping, they were using small clubs to beat the door in.
Their enthusiasm was very obvious.
These were not soldiers performing their jobs.
These warriors were off-duty and merely there for
their own entertainment.
As light began to leak in from the warriors' efforts,
Jarvis forced himself into the drain, pulling the grate closed behind him.
In the last six months, he had found it becoming
gradually more difficult to fit into the drains.
He knew that soon he would be too large to fit.
But he understood that this was a fear to be dealt
with in the future.
At that moment his only concern was to escape with
every one of the children in his care.
He passed instructions on where to go and the
worm-like line of children began to move.
With great effort, he managed to crawl behind his family
through hundreds of feet of drain to an even more remote part of the once
powerful human military station.
He freed himself from the drain and sighed.
He counted heads and found that all six of "his"
children were safe in the new hiding place.
He wondered once again why there had been such
massive searches in the last few days.
Most of the human population was dead.
Most of the survivors were caught when they went in
search of food (and that reminded him that their supplies would be gone in a few
days).
Why a big search so suddenly?
For the first time since he heard the approaching warriors,
Jarvis turned on his light.
Holding the tiny box in his hand, he scanned the
room to look for likely places to sleep.
The new hiding place was dismal.
He had never taken his group into such a terrible
place before.
Fetid water dripped from the ceiling in many places.
A strange mold was growing on one of the walls.
His beam showed him nothing to use for bedding.
As his beam flashed over the far end of the room, he
froze.
There, hiding in the darkness, his light revealed a
crouching Kaireese warrior in full body armor.
Jarvis didn't know what to do.
He had led his family straight into the arms of
death.
All of his greatest fears and wishes rushed past him.
He knew that he and his children would all die now.
He only hoped that it would be faster than most
human deaths were.
The scream of the Kaireese jolted him from his
paralysis.
"Please, do not hurt me; I mean you no harm,"
the meter tall alien begged.
Jarvis did not understand what was happening, but having
lived by his wits for most of his life, he felt compelled to act.
"We won't hurt you if you stay where you are and keep your
hands away from those weapons."
The warrior wore the usual large assortment of weapons on
his body, and Jarvis wanted to make sure that his courage was not renewed enough
to use them.
The only logical explanation that Jarvis could come up with
was that the warrior thought they were a party of armed adults.
But the armed resistors were all long dead.
Why was this giant afraid of him?
Jarvis cautioned all of his children to remain absolutely
still.
This was a command that they obeyed to the letter.
They knew that to live, they had to do what Jarvis
said.
They trusted him completely.
He then ordered the alien to strip off all of his
weapons and armor, and to place them well out of reach.
"Who are you and what were you doing down here?" Jarvis demanded (in his closest
approximation to an adult voice).
"I am Noraal.
I am no threat.
I am far more akin to you than to those who hunt
you.
Even now they are there, hunting me.
Thirsting for my blood..."
Jarvis stepped closer and examined the alien in detail.
He had only seen Kaireese without armor once, when
he was stealing supplies.
They appeared fierce and menacing even without their
equipment.
But this one was different.
His eyes held fear.
He moved nervously.
He was afraid.
This mighty giant was even more afraid than any of
Jarvis's family.
"How is this?" Jarvis asked the alien.
"What do you have to fear from them?"
"I am not exactly one of them.
This may be difficult for you to understand, but I
am from another place... another reality, if you will.
I came here for happiness, but now I am simply more
prey for them."
Though unbelieving, Jarvis sat and listened to the
terrified alien's story.
Noraal told him how he was from a place where Humans
hunted Kaireese.
He tried to explain how these two realities, along
with many others, coexisted with the universe that Jarvis knew, but Jarvis
understood little of this.
Noraal went on to explain that he had been a
research student when humans had first met his kind.
The humans attacked at that first meeting, and
simply never ceased the effort.
They hunted Kaireese and killed them by the
thousands.
In less than ten years, they had completely destroyed a
once mighty empire.
Humans even began to hunt Kaireese for sport and
held contests to see who could kill the most.
Noraal, much like Jarvis, had taken refuge in the forgotten
tunnels and drains of his now lost world.
On one of his flights from death he found himself on
familiar ground.
He had managed to find a connecting tunnel to the
drains under the giant research lab that he had once trained in.
Hope raced through him at the thought that perhaps
the “Sanctuary” program's labs were still intact.
He found them undisturbed.
With the power of the machinery, he could break the
barriers between the universes and escape to final safety.
From the condition of the machines and labs, the team who
had been working on the secret project seemed to have slipped out in the planned
fashion.
But why had they failed to share this information?
Millions of innocent lives would have been saved had
they done that.
Instead, they had chosen, like himself, to just run
and save themselves.
Noraal studied the research carefully for many days.
He selected a universe where there were strong signs
of his life-form, and few human signs.
He thought that he could escape to a place where
Kaireese reigned over the galaxy and humans were no more.
With a final sigh of resignation, he entered the
machine and gave it his final instructions.
When he opened his eyes, he beheld a wide array of rigid
Kaireese faces.
They did not welcome him, rather they dragged him to
a small white room.
Inside, he found several members of the Sanctuary
research team.
From them he learned that these Kaireese were very
fond of killing humans.
At first, the researchers felt glorious and
vindicated.
But then they began to notice the cruel nature of these
other Kaireese.
Soon, they began to demand work of the visitors from the
other universe.
They wanted their own Sanctuary machine so that they
could travel to more universes and kill even more humans.
When the team showed reluctance to do this, they
were enslaved, beaten, and forced to work on the new machine.
Noraal was soon put to work on the testing of the new
device.
He found his captors to be more cruel than he could have
ever imagined.
A few days before, he escaped.
Once free, he had tried to speak with high ranking
members of the warrior caste so that he could explain the huge mistakes being
made.
He wanted them to understand the fear held by those in his
former universe.
He wanted them to stop hunting men.
He was nearly killed for his efforts and was never able to
sway anyone.
The military officers that he spoke with were convinced
that he was a genetic throwback and should be destroyed.
But only after a long and painful confession, of
course.
He escaped his captors the second time only because of his
many years of running from humans.
He waited for a lax guard and opened the grate on
the nearest air shaft.
Pulling the cover back on from inside, he climbed
down the giant tube for several hours.
But his fear and exhaustion took the best of him and
he slipped.
When he awoke, he managed to find their common hiding
place.
Now he was lost and as far from home as anyone could ever
be.
Jarvis didn't know what to believe about all of this.
The story was fantastic, but Noraal himself seemed
to be living proof of its reality.
The only thing that Jarvis was certain about was
that only a miracle could save him, or his race for that matter.
Perhaps this alien held the key to his miracle.
"Do you know where this new machine is being made?" he asked Noraal.
"Yes, but how can that help me?"
"Listen, if we could get to it, could we destroy it?"
"I think so..." The alien pondered for a moment and then
added, "I'm sure we could, if we could get to it.
Even so, how will that help?"
Jarvis turned off his lamp and enjoyed a moment of dark
peace, then said "I think you've forgotten about something very important.
Not only do we need to keep the warriors from having
their own machine, there is still another one back in your universe.
What if the humans from there find it and come
through with their own armies?
Your race could be wiped out from every universe
there is!
You've got to get to your universe and destroy that one as
well.
And you have to take the research team and all of their
plans as well.
We have to get everything over to your side and then
destroy the machines."
"We?" Noraal asked.
"Why would you help me?"
In the darkness, Jarvis smiled.
"Because I want to stop the killing too.
There has been enough killing."
During the next several weeks, the unlikely team laid their
plans.
As both well knew, security among the Kaireese was casual
(their arrogance convinced them that they could not be hurt; that was a logical
deduction, but not correct).
That had been the only weakness that had allowed
Jarvis to feed his family.
They would be able to get close to the machine
through underground tunnels.
For the final one hundred feet, Jarvis would pose as
a captive of Noraal's.
Noraal was opposed to this, but Jarvis could see
that it was just fear, so he insisted on this plan.
The fourteen year old human was able to work on
Noraal's fear and get his way on every point.
Once they were closer, Noraal should have no problem
using his stolen weapons to subdue the unsuspecting guards without bloodshed.
Then Noraal and the research team would step into
the machine (he had confided that it had been ready for use before he had even
arrived, but that the researchers had been able to keep this a secret) and
return, destroying the other machine afterwards.
During those weeks, Noraal taught Jarvis several things
about stealing supplies.
They exchanged stories, and tales of terror, and
gradually began to respect each other.
Noraal let the smaller children sleep in his huge
arms and told them happy stories from Kaireese mythology.
The alien began to seem like one of them.
Once, Jarvis even slipped and called Noraal "Dad."
The slip was quite unintentional and untruthful.
Jarvis never saw Noraal as a father figure.
He was, though, growing to like him a great deal.
Jarvis would lay awake at night and imagine a world where
the war had never happened.
Noraal and he could be friends and talk and play
games.
There would be no fear.
Then the thought would occur to him that there must
be another Noraal.
One that was born into Jarvis' universe.
That Noraal had probably killed hundreds of Humans.
That thought kept Jarvis sharp and ready to execute
his plan without hesitation.
On the day before the raid, Jarvis could not sleep.
During the preceding week, he had made decisions
that would not only radically change his life, but actually change the course of
history forever.
That was if it worked.
Otherwise, his plan would bring death for him and
maybe even for his family.
While Noraal slept, he called his band together.
Through his tears, he said good-bye to those that he
loved.
He could only hope that they could survive without him.
Jarvis knew that he had to take this risk.
During the evening, the pair made their way to the lab.
The trip was difficult and they had to retrace their
steps often.
Noraal was so large that many passages were impassable for
him.
They were forced to scout out air vents rather than drains.
This gave Jarvis an emotional lift.
He saw that there was indeed a way for an adult
Human to move in safety.
Perhaps there were still adults somewhere on the
base.
But it was a pointless hope, and he knew it.
If he failed, the Kaireese would win in the end no
matter who lived.
After several grueling hours, they arrived at their point
of exit.
It took another thirty minutes to make Noraal appear to be
an acceptable warrior.
The reluctant giant did not take to the role well
and was extremely frightened.
"What if they don't believe?
What if they attack us?"
"Stop worrying," Jarvis snapped.
"I have one of your pistols and it'll be in my hand
the whole time.
If they shoot, we'll return fire.
But they won't!
Just act as bold as you can and this will work."
Jarvis did not mention his own fears.
Could he
actually make the pistol fire?
Would the researchers cooperate?
Could he really take the long walk to the machine
without giving the plan away?
He had no answers, but he knew he had to go.
He tried to calm his shaking body with thoughts of
his family, but that only saddened him more.
He decided, instead, to just think about being
Noraal's prisoner.
They both drew a long breath and opened the last
grate.
The hallway was empty, as expected, and both stepped out
quickly.
Jarvis gripped the pistol tightly behind his back and they
began to walk.
They rounded the final corner and found the expected
guard.
He nodded slightly as they approached.
Without hesitating, Jarvis raised the pistol and fired.
Almost silently, the guard's torso exploded and he
sloshed to the ground.
Noraal screamed and would have run if Jarvis had not
turned the weapon on him.
"Shut up or you'll bring more guards down on us," he
told the horrified alien.
"Why did you do this?
He did nothing to us!"
"I couldn't take that risk.
Now go get what we need and show me the machine."
Noraal pointed to the door splattered with blood and told
him that the machine was kept there and the guard held the electronic pass that
would open it.
He then opened the opposite door and stepped in.
Jarvis found the small box on the dead guard's belt.
He had to wipe the sticky black remains from the box
with his hand.
It had several red studs on it, so Jarvis pushed
each one until the door opened.
The small gray machine was not as impressive as Jarvis had
imagined.
It was a series of metal boxes with cables connecting them.
A few displays glowed dimly and a large tube
connected the whole thing with a large shiny plate that occupied about twenty
square feet in the center of the room.
He placed several human manufactured explosives
around the machine and set their timers.
Jarvis had hoarded those since he retrieved them
from the room where his parents had been murdered years before.
He had often been tempted to use them, but had
always held them back.
He knew that his restraint had paid off in the
biggest way.
Finally, the small team of haggard and terrified
researchers stumbled into the room.
They
bore their notes and models with them in large bundles.
None of them spoke to Jarvis.
He kept his pistol out but not aimed directly at
them as they placed their valuable cargo on the pad.
When Noraal closed the door, he ordered the head
researcher to set the controls.
"We'll have about a ten minute wait," he told
Jarvis.
Jarvis waited next to the door.
When the final countdown reached ten seconds, he
dashed over and stood next to Noraal on the pad.
Before the aliens could react, the transport began.
Flashing searing light penetrated Jarvis.
Even his hand over his eyes did not reduce the pure
light.
Jarvis felt himself float and drift.
Then came cold darkness and falling.
When it ended, Noraal turned to Jarvis and saw the
pistol aimed at his head.
During the whole transport Jarvis' aim had not
wavered.
"Why did you come?" Noraal asked Jarvis.
"Don't worry about it.
Pickup that stuff and move off the pad."
All of the aliens complied.
They had been slaves and prey for so long that none
of them even considered disobeying the small human child.
"You stupid sheep," he told them, "I want you to head out
that door.
The first one who runs will die."
They marched into the corridor and up the first flight of
stairs that they encountered.
Within seconds they heard the sound of an
approaching patrol.
At that point Noraal pushed Jarvis down and began to
run.
The boy fired and Noraal's head vanished in a black mist.
Before any of the researchers could react the human
patrol had arrived.
"Don’t fire!
I'm human!" Jarvis shouted.
The surprised men moved in and subdued the party
quickly.
The
tale that Jarvis told of the machine, the trip, and the other universes was soon
heard at the highest level of the Human military command.
Machines were built in large quantities and humans
were storming Jarvis' universe within six months.
During his later life as Governor, Jarvis often reflected on his long dead alien
friend.
"Poor Noraal," he would say during his speech at the
dedication of the gentle alien's monument on Earth.
"He just didn't understand that the humans from my
universe were just as ruthless as the Kaireese found there.
If I would have had the means to hunt them as boy, I
would have done it.
I want to kill every single one of them in every
single universe and will never rest until every possible incarnation of the
Kaireese has been destroyed.
I would have killed Noraal as soon as I first saw
him, but I had no weapons.
Still, I loved him very much.
I'm glad that we, as a society, have chosen to honor
him with this memorial.
I owe him everything that I am and have.
He was gentle and merciful.
I miss him.
Bless you Noraal."
____________________________________________
Comments:
Dan Neumann (Editor): There are just a few minor revisions here. I feel there are too many "very"s and permutations of "said." That, and coma insertion, is about the only things I have changed. I love the story. You are right, though, it needs to be a novel. It is like my Expletus; it is a good short story, but deserves to be a book. I will be looking forward to that. In the mean time, are you keeping the title the same? May I suggest a name with the words Parallel, Mercy, and/or - perhaps - Vengeance? I suppose the current title just doesn't do it for me. It seems like the Humans are evil no matter what realm, while only some worlds do the Kairesses act menacing. Submit again, if you have anything else.
________________________________________________
"A Job to Do"
Scott stood before the abyss and looked down. The
sea pounded the coast line, hundreds of feet below, with a mad fury. When he
took his final step towards the edge, he closed his eyes. He was firm in his
choice to die, but he had no desire to watch the earth come speeding up towards
him. Just before he was about to leap, he heard a voice.
"I wouldn't do it if I were you. You won't like what
you find afterwards."
Scott jolted back to reality and turned to see who
had spoken. Sitting on a rock a few feet behind him was a strange little man. He
was around five feet tall, and he wore a light green suit. His top hat was a
strange swirling of blues, yellows, and reds.
"Get away from me, or I'll jump" he told the little
man.
"Well you were going to anyway. I'd just prefer that
you didn't right now because I might get into trouble for it."
"What trouble? Are you a cop, or a Park Ranger, or
something?"
"Nope, I'm your guardian angel. And I think they'd
get pissed if you did it, so don't."
"My what? You don't look like any angel I've ever
seen. Where are your wings?" Scott asked with a chuckle.
"Well, I'm using the term rather loosely. While it
is true that – technically – I'm your guardian angel, I am not, as you say, a
real angel. In point of fact, I'm a demon."
"My guardian demon, huh? That's all I fucking need."
"Look, heaven is a little short handed because of
the strike, and our union agreed to contract some of us out to help them, until
this situation is resolved. So, I am here to help you in place of your regular
guardian angel."
"Let me get this straight. You are a demon who is
working for God now, because all of the angels went on strike against him? Come
on, I think we should jump together. You're insane, and the world doesn't need
any more crazy people."
"I don't work for God, for obvious reasons. I am
under contract to Satan, and he has ordered me to help God. That's all. Now,
what say we flash back to your childhood and see some heartwarming scenes of you
as a boy. I think that's what I'm supposed to do."
"Hold on a minute. Why did the angels go out on
strike? How did they do it? God is all powerful, right?"
"Do you really want to hear this? Okay, not all of
the angels walked out. Only union members went. All of the management is still
in place, and they've taken over most of the jobs. We're just taking up the
slack. They are demanding more liberal policies in heaven. You know, colored
robes, less harp music, more parties, it's the same old thing. Those fags are
always whining about something. Are you ready to go?"
"No, I want to hear more. Why doesn't God just wipe
'em out and make new angels?"
"Look, God has contractual obligations. I think
everyone would really get mad if He started breaking them. Plus, there are no
other angels. And God can't make any more, he never made any provisions for
that. Not to mention that He didn't even make them in the first place. Plus, if
He killed them, His boss would really let him have
it. Let's go back to when you were nine. Remember when you and your friend
Stevie got trapped in that drainage pipe..."
"You don't look much like a demon," Scott said as he
sat on the ground next to the little man. "No horns. Why, you're not even red,
or breathing fire. You sure don't scare me."
"Of course not, I told you, I'm your guardian angel.
I'm not supposed to be scary."
"And why go back to the day I was trapped in the
pipe. That hardly seems like any kind of warm memory."
"Well, I
am a demon. I am
here to save you, as any good little angel, but my powers aren't geared to what
you
call happiness. I'm going to show you many memories like that one, to show you
where you went wrong. Demons aren't much good at this stuff... you'll get no
warm fuzzies from me."
"Then I must insist that you tell me more about God,
and Satan, and heaven and all that."
"I really ought to check my handbook on this. I'm
not sure this is how it's supposed to work."
"Hey, I haven't killed myself yet, have I? I'd say
you're doing pretty well."
"Good point. I know that most of you mortals have
these fixed ideas about heaven and God. But let me tell you, it's the mortals
with the real power. Heaven used to be a pretty cool place. Personally, I hated
to leave, but I knew the Boss had the right idea.
Then some weirdo in the desert wrote about how
everything was white, and streets paved with gold, and all of that, and the
whole place had to be redecorated. After a few thousand years of this, the
angels have finally gotten pissed off enough to demand changes. When I saw one
of my old buddies up there in his robe and playing a harp I was so thankful I
hadn't stayed that I went and bled the brake fluid out of 100 cars in
"So how did you go from Angel to Demon? Aren't they
opposites of each other?"
"Don't you ever hear this stuff? Boy, we should have
visited you before this strike. Angels and Demons are the same thing, just
different unions. We've got a much better deal, if you ask me."
"So mortals are able to make heaven change, huh? So
if we all wanted heaven to be full of lime Jello, it would be?"
"Well, it's not that simple. You have to
believe
that heaven is full of Jello, not just wish it. And one person wouldn't really
make any difference, but if you could get the Catholic church to go along it'd
be the funniest thing I've ever heard of. Boy, we'd sure enjoy that!"
"Then, the Catholics are right? They're the ones who
really know the truth? So is everyone else going to hell then?"
"You just aren't getting this at all. Of course the
Catholics are right. So are the Jews, the Buddhists, the Hindus, and the
Baptists. They're all right. If you do good, you go to the 'good place' and, if
not, you come to us. Sort of. I think we should get back to the drainage pipe...
I have another jumper in Thailand that I have to get to soon."
"I certainly don't mean to hold you up, but how can
every religion be right? Sometimes they say opposite things."
"Okay, just to save time, let me tell you. But you
have to promise not to tell anyone else. This is like a giant secret."
"Go for it; I've got no one to tell."
"See, when you die, you find exactly what you expect
to find. If you think you'll go to heaven, you do. If you think you'll go to
"So Satan doesn't go around buying souls? There
aren't any mortal sins unless you believe there are?"
"Now you're getting it. I want you to realize that
if I were working my normal job, I'd have to eat your face off for knowing
that."
"And I appreciate your control. What about
atheists?"
"You find what you expect to find. They expect to
find nothing, so that's what they get. As to Satan buying souls, he doesn't do
it himself too often, that's what we're here for. And even we can't really buy
them, just make people think that we have. Souls can't be sold or transferred to
anyone else. That's one of the Rules."
"Well, I must thank you for a very entertaining
story. It was a nice epitaph for my life, but I have to go now."
Scott stood and walked back and looked over the edge
of the cliff.
"So what do you believe Scott? What awaits you after
death?"
"Reincarnation. I plan to come back as a turtle."
"Do you believe that, or merely hope for it?" the
little man asked. He walked toward the cliff edge and stood beside Scott.
Looking down he added "It's a long way down. No changing your mind. Now are you
certain?"
After a long moment, Scott turned his back on the
sea and chose.
"I'm just not certain. I was raised a Roman
Catholic, and I still have a little voice telling me 'suicide is a mortal sin.'
I guess my guardian Angel really did save me, whoever you really are."
"Every word I spoke was true -- that's part of the
Deal. Wait!"
The little man paused and strained at the wind,
listening. Scott heard nothing but stood fixated.
"The strike is over! Aw... you were only the third
person I got to work with too."
At that moment, there was a flash of white light and
a beautiful angel appeared in front of Scott. At the same instant, the little
man in the green suit lunged forward and shoved Scott over the edge of the
cliff.
"Sorry about that, Abe," he whispered to the angel,
"but he knew too much. No mortal is allowed to have that knowledge from me."
"Oh well, I tried to get here before the strike
officially ended, but I had two other stops to make first. He really wasn't one
of our kind anyway. You know, we just do this as a special service to the
damned. It's really above and beyond anyhow. So how'd you enjoy your brief
assignment?"
"It wasn't too bad. Hope I can be of service again
someday. Well, see ya at Armageddon."
"See you there!"
Both immortals vanished before Scott's broken body,
which had washed off the rocks.
w w w
Scott's vision was blurred greatly by the water. He
could see the colorful rocks at the bottom and a number of strange stones. They
were very large, as large as he was, and they seemed to be moving slowly back
and forth across the bottom. He surfaced and took a long breath. His eyes stung
in the air and he could see almost nothing but vague shapes. He decided on a
direction at random and tried to swim towards shore.
He thought that the stormy sea he had jumped into
had calmed a great deal and he didn't seem to tire as he swam. In moments,
however, he was stopped. His face had struck something solid. It was a
translucent wall running as far as his limited vision would allow him to see.
Then he began to scream. Beyond the wall he could
see a huge face. It was a thousand times the size of his own. It was not the
face that made him scream. The face wore glasses, and in their reflection he
could read a sign on the other side of the wall.
It read simply "Pet Turtles -- $7.50."
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Comments:
Dan Neumann (Editor): The first thing I can say is: LMAO. For those of you who do not know what that acronym means, it is Laughing Miraculously At Originality. I have never seen a satire on religion pulled off so well. I did not feel offended, nor particularly inspired; it was just in good humor. Yet, underneath the surface of the story, there is a healthy hint of philosophy. I, too, once thought of an idea similar to this one, making the diversity of ideologies fair (in regards to the afterlife). But I like how you didn't go too "hard-core" in that respect. This is a (funny) story first, and a sermon second. Keep up the great work!
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