Volume 6- Issue 4, April 2007
Published by Llumina Press

            I knew my doctor was saying something to me, but I had allowed my mind to drift off somewhere else, anywhere else, as I searched for a bit of comfort in past memories. I’m sure you know exactly what I mean. Go to your own retreat with the stream, the birds, the blue sky, children laughing, and so on.

            I can still hear her words ringing in my ear.  The words seem to bounce from one part of my brain to the other as I try to make sense of what she has said.

            Hodgkin’s lymphoma cancer. For God’s sake, she is telling me I have cancer.

            I had been having some odd symptoms: itching, burning, night sweats and some fever. When lumped together with enlarged lymph nodes, these symptoms will suggest Hodgkin’s.  But I was not ready to believe it.

            My caring doctor had previously sent my lymph node, slides and various pathology items to a lab in San Francisco to search for the Reed Sternberg cell. There was the key to this cancer; you find that cell and it identifies this cancer.  They had found it and now she was telling me about it!  All I could say was a weak question. “Am I going to die?”  Over and over again I repeated the question. She assures me that further tests will be needed.

            Ultimately, I was treated with chemotherapy with their wondrous drugs, remission, and radiation beams of healing light. Once again I was able to claim my healthy body and lead a normal life.

            Exactly one year later, the symptoms returned with vengeance and my remission had ended.  This time newer and more powerful chemotherapy drugs were used, but they were not strong enough to return my body to me.

            The next and only option left was a stem cell transplant, the process I feared most.  Over and over again I told my husband that I did not want to have a transplant. He kindly pointed out that I had no choice.

            I was able to use my own stem cells for this procedure; something I did not know was possible.  I have written about my journey with cancer to help others face a similar situation.  For further information, please go to: www.stemsoflife.com

            I wish you well…

—Virginia E. Hansen