May 2005

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE 

Everyone knows there is a Heaven, but few know what's going on there 

FORT LAUDERDALE,  June 2005:  Everyone knows there is a Heaven, but who knows what goes on there?  Heavenly Interviews has the scoop!  Exclusive interviews with three of Heaven's upper-echelon residents will give you a glimpse into that divine destination.  Revelations include what is offered for The Faithful, those lucky souls who have been admitted through those Pearly portals.  

You thought they just sit around and pray all day? Hardly.  Heaven is one eclectic Kingdom these days.  You'll also take the tours of Purgatory and Hell, both of which have been updated and modernized from the traditional gnashing of the teeth while being cooked in large pots scenarios of  past infernos. 

You’ll also be privy to the fate of many celebrities throughout ages.  Where did the formerly rich and famous book their tickets to eternity and how do their accomodations compare to the way they lived on earth?  You’ll get the inside story from the ultimate insiders about high-profile dead folk, such as Napoleon, John the Baptist, Mary Magdalene, Julius Caesar, Charlton Heston, Mother Teresa, Joan of Arc, Galileo, Einstein, Franklin Delano and Teddy Roosevelt, Attila, Louis Armstrong, Dolley Madison, and more.  And, some juicy tidbits of information on certain still-living luminaries, such as George W. Bush. 

Some of the questions asked by our interviewer are answered by heaven’s top VIP’s.  Conundrums, mysteries, big and small, such as Mary's Travels, The Big Flood, Infallibility, The Holy Ghost, New Liturgy and Music, The Trinity, Religious TV Shows, Abortion, and Eternity, are all answered with deadpan candor and discussed in entertaining rhyme, which allows more information and enjoyment per line than that awful, verbose, uninteresting, and terrifically excessively long, earthly  prose. 

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