Dear Dan,

    I have wrote this chapter for my upcoming sequel that I have been working on. I was curious to know if my new approach to telling a story works. I have pasted and attached the file in this message. I hope you enjoy and keep up the great work!

Thanks,

Dan

P.S.

The excerpt is pasted below:

Chapter 1: Preamble of the Butchery

-October 14^th, 3054-

 “Now class, simmer down. I know you are all discovering your new memories but you must quiet down to begin the recall,” Mrs. Cloos lectured. “Class, please settle.”

A classroom of newly introduced students, that had just undergone the process of a DMD (Direct to Memory Device) lesson insertion, never seemed tranquil. There had always been a slight tingle in the back of the spine after such a procedure. To amplify this already hysterical sensation, the first experience contained a certain unsettling and bizarrely anxious feeling to it. As a result, all the children of the “Tindroderoga 12459 Elementary Unit, Class Three” couldn’t quite restrain themselves.

           Mrs. Cloos turned her body away from all the vacant desks, which were supposed to be occupied with the children. She walked towards a grey desk with a flat monitor laying face up in the center. At the far left corner laid an apple certified to be delicious by an orange, edible sticker fused to the fruit’s pink skin. As she sat down in an exceptionally wide chair, she heard the plastic wheels glide over the smooth surface of the tiled floor.

           She took a few moments to decide whether or not she would eat the apple now or during her lunch session. Then, she realized her original basis of abandoning her frenzied students. Her fingers rested and then stiffened on a dark, blue button. This movement then activated a lively tone to announce a contact has been made. She spoke aloud, “Dan, can you get down here? I got some new ones that just got finished with an incremental DMD lesson. Their brains are too hectic for me to get anywhere. You’re good with kids.”

           Dan responded, “I’d love to Mrs. Cloos. All depending though… can you put up with me?”

           Mrs. Cloos laughed and said, “Not a chance, but these kids are going to drive me insane if they don’t just keep quiet. Even more insane then your behavior.”

           Dan chuckled, “Sounds pretty awful. I’ll be right down.”

           Mrs. Cloos, after disabling the channel, starred at the apple once again. As she gazed into its smooth and glossy texture, she felt her mouth water. Once the natural biological need for nourishment was felt long enough, she snatched the apple from its original seat on her desk. She brought it level to her eyes and right as she was beginning to turn it canted and then towards her mouth, Dan knocked on the classroom door.

           The sound of the knuckles to wood interrupted her almost complete transaction between the apple to her stomach.  Dan yelled through the door, “Eh Mrs. Cloos! Would you mind letting me in?”

           Mrs. Cloos, slightly startled, set down the apple back in its original place and sat up. She pushed the chair out of the way by use of the side of her waist in a slight thrust. She walked to the door and saw Dan’s distinctive face smiling on the other side of a frosted window encompassing a small upper region of the door.

           Mrs. Cloos opened the door. “Okay Dan, just get these kids to shut up and then you leave.”

           Dan flexed both his eyebrows inwards and questioned, “Are you in a bad mood today?”

           Mrs. Cloos shook her head and explained, “I just feel like garbage today.”

           Dan walked towards the front of the classroom, looking at the children. They all had nametags on their green, uniformed shirts and most were rubbing the back of their necks. There were even two children on top their respective desks and shouting.

           Considering this sight, Dan walked back towards Mrs. Cloos. “Yeah, ummm. Yeah. Er… I might need to get Brooke down here.”

           Mrs. Cloos sighed and said, “You mean your girlfriend? Whatever. Just make these kids calm down.”

           After three minutes of pacing back and forth between the crowded aisles beside the desks, Brooke finally arrived. She immediately shouted, “Hey guys! Sit down!” in a loud and unearthly tone. So loud, in fact, no other noise, or noisemakers for that matter, could compete. The room was silent. Until Dan said, “Hey thanks, Brooke”

           Mrs. Cloos beamed to herself, “Now that’s better” Then she spoke aloud for the classroom, “Now we will begin our recall with a history lesson. Not just any history lesson, but the one of the planet you’re on. Humans first colonized Tindroderoga in the early 25^th century. It was discovered habitable by the means of a satellite that found its way in the Earth solar system. From there, our radio telescopes picked up its signal. At the time, the United States was just losing power. Countries around it learned to mistrust the powerful country for its selfish hold on all space colonies. The poor, but over populated countries of the East, most notably Russia, China, and Japan, joined an alliance together. Once the United States was overthrown, and the trajectory of the satellite’s launch point was known, the race began. Eventually-“

           Mrs. Cloos was cut off by a long drawn out alarm, accompanied by several flashes of yellow tinted light. A monitor activated above her head. The screen held a woman inside, a projection of a newscaster, who had an urgent message. She informed, “Attention all present on Tindroderoga. The worst has come. We don’t know what the exact intentions are, but a large ship the size of Continental Core ship is in orbit over your planet. You are authorized and encouraged to use the Emergency Flee Pods in your vicinity. The U.S.C (United Sovereign Countries) has one ship in your solar system, the Respergo. Please stand by for more details.”

           Brooke gasped then spoke, “It can’t be. The Surculus wouldn’t go that far, would they? Is that girl they are after even here? I thought she was still with Admiral Taylor Cone.”

           Dan stretched to reach the monitor at the high elevation in the room and tapped on the screen three times. A voice spoke, “This is Potasonic Television. How may I aid you?”

           Dan yelped, “Mute with captions.”

           Mrs. Cloos said, “Why did you do that?”

           “I don’t want these kids to know about this, do you? Wait, they can’t read yet, can they?”

           Mrs. Cloos thought for a moment and said to the class, “I know we haven’t undergone recall of the English portion yet, but does anyone here know how to read?”

           One child, named Octavian, raised his hand. Mrs. Cloos shook her head horizontally and then said, “Oh dear. Okay then, everyone hold your hands over Octavian’s eyes.”

           Octavian chuckled hardily when everyone motioned their hands over his eyes, slightly waving them for him to see light ever so often. He felt their chubby fingers hit his eyelids and it only made him giggle more. After all, such was routine procedure for a five year old.

           Then Brooke pointed out, “Hey the news is back on!’

           The reporter carried a depressed expression. As her lips motioned, a black bar became visual on the screen, enclosing white letters. The words read as follows, “The attack vessel, labeled the ‘Guillotine’, has launched its weapon. A blue disk, the size of the Earth’s moon, is in direct route to Tindroderoga. The hit should produce about 2.24*10³² Joules. It will completely annihilate the planet in five minutes. Again, we urge you to utilize your local EFP (Emergency Flee Pods) as soon as possible.”

           The lips paused for a moment. Then they resumed movement, with the company of the white lettered words, “This is just in. The Respergo has intercepted the weapon. They are launching their missiles. No effect. The Respergo has fired all twenty-five of its plasma cannons. The disk has not been neutralized, I repeat it is still a threat. Its velocity is still powerful enough to split the planet in two at this point. The Respergo has launched all of its SDF, shuttles, and lifeboats. The Respergo has moved directly in front of the object. Oh my God! Oh my God! The Respergo! It is gone. It was just there… but the disk is. The disk is. Oh God… It is my regret to inform you that the disk will still collide with Tindroderoga. God’s speed to whoever is down there.”

           The woman who broadcasting the news, on the screen, was now in tears. She was handed a white cloth from a technician that appeared from the right bottom edge of the monitor. She patted her running makeup and there were no longer any white letters in the black bar at the bottom of the monitor. It was just that woman’s gloomy and powerless face.

           Dan directed all the children, “Everyone, please enter this room here,” and pointed to a newly unsealed room with yellow and orange tape lining it’s edges.

           Mrs. Cloos tapped Dan and Brooke’s shoulders lightly, signally them to walk with her to the other side of the room. She said, “There are only enough seats for fifty people. There are one hundred and thirty in this classroom. Grant it, some may be able to sit two to a seat. But, regardless, we are going to have to leave some behind. I will watch over the kids that choose to stay while you two go.”

           Dan shook his head and said, “No. You have to be the one to go. Besides, we don’t have the right biometric identification to engage the EFP. You know those doors seal tight as soon as you activate it. I will stay and watch those that choose to stay.”

           Brooke cried out, “Well I am not going anywhere without Dan. I’ll stay too.”

           Mrs. Cloos kicked the wall in frustration and said, “No. You have too much life ahead of you. I will cut off my finger first!”

           Dan said, “Mrs. Cloos you are wasting time. You have three minutes between you and whatever the hell blew up the Respergo. Don’t be irresponsible, you know the anti-terrorism units detect dead appendages. There is no other way. Now get out of here before it’s too late!”

           Mrs. Cloos came to her senses and closed her eyes. She yelled out, “Kids, whoever wants to come with me, follow me. Everyone else, you can stay with Dan and Brooke. You guys can play dodge ball or something.”

           Conveniently, sixty children never partook in that game and joined Mrs. Cloos. Just before she touched her thumb to the scanner, she said to Dan, “You know what? I always had fun with you in class. I just didn’t want you to know that. I am proud of who you have become. I just wish you could understand what you could have been.”

           The door of the EFP closed airtight with a distinct vacuum effect. After that, the engines roared. The EFP launched. Brooke looked at the monitor that had a countdown, it read, “Forty seconds until impact.”

           Octavian’s eyes no longer had the shield of the children’s hands over them. He read the screen and he was curious. He walked up to Brooke and said, “Hey, what is it counted down to?”

           Brooke looked at him with a hard stare. Of course, Octavian was not the right age to interpret it fully. Regardless, she said, “It is the executioner of all things peaceful, Octavian. Peace is all going to end because of this.”

           Dan wrapped his right arm around her shoulder and said, “It’s a shame. You would have been a great poet,” he paused and continued, “You know you’re beautiful, right?”

Rationale: The book essentially will begin with the end. But you relive it under the eyes of the true characters. I have dates under each chapter to build up to this previously announced climax, while you slowly progress through the cause of this catastrophe. I borrowed the same concept of a shock-effect opening from my last novel, OMA: One Man Army. This is Part 2 of that story, occurring fifteen years later.